Elisabeth – Some of these women honestly have been through terrible terrible ordeals a lot of trauma abuse but I I wouldn’t say that they’re the ones who necessarily struggle more than others. It’s a mindset thing it’s really a decision am I going to wear this badge of suffering because I went through divorce or am I going to be the person who uses this to catapult me into something new. That’s how I approach my healing it’s like I am going to learn everything I can, I am going to heal and grow and this is going to be the thing that changes my life in a good way.

Nicky – What’s up CorrNation! Welcome to another episode of Coin for Thought! Today I’m here with Elisabeth Parsons. She’s the owner and founder of the Separation Club. So thank you so much for being on the show Elisabeth.

Elisabeth – Thank you and hi everyone and it’s wonderful to be here with you thank you.

Nicky – Thank you, if you guys haven’t checked out Elisabeth’s previous episode, Elisabeth talks about how she got divorced and her experience with that. If you haven’t checked that out it’s an amazing episode the link is down below but thank you so much for joining me again on this episode.

Elisabeth – Yeah and I’m looking forward to talking about my baby today

Nicky – You know businesses really are babies

Elisabeth – Yeah when we create them they are

Nicky – Yeah and then they grow and flourish and you want them to succeed and you do all these things you spend so much time on them. So so tell me about this baby, tell me about the Separation Club. What is it?

Elisabeth – Well um Separation Club is a community ultimately for women, who are going through separation and divorce. Um it’s a lot more than just a community that’s where it started it’s got courses. There’s a whole website behind it but it’s um yeah it’s it’s was all my my vision for my baby was that it was to be this safe place for women to go, when they’re going through separation and early stages. That was where

Nicky – Right

Elisabeth – I felt that the market wasn’t served was you know there’s a lot of divorce coaches. I’m not one of them and they do a great job but they’re generally catching them later down the road when they’ve been through quite a bit. I wanted to catch them in those early days because I remember when I went through it and I did not know where to go. I didn’t know who to ask, I didn’t know what I should be asking, I didn’t know anything. So it’s the fear of like even what I don’t know that I should be asking. So I wanted to create a resource for women where they can go get support and someone to say to them, here’s what you’re going to do first.

Nicky – Well you know that those early stages are really really messy.

Elisabeth – Yeah

Nicky – They’re really really yucky do I leave them do I do I not leave them. Am I am I going to stay? Do I love them? Uh am I really that unhappy and then even once you once you leave your partner or your ex or whatever the case is. Maybe you’re not even sure right so there’s a lot of like back and forth and there’s not a lot of money often times to go around. So thinking about hiring say you know a lawyer is daunting, let alone say for example someone who is you know I I guess like a divorce coach. So I think that’s you were saying like that’s probably why a lot of the people in that industry they kind of like wait for um you know women to get divorced or whatever and for all that messiness and yuckiness to kind of pass before they can jump in. Right?

Elisabeth – Absolutely they wait until the decision has been made and they’re into their legal journey generally.

Nicky – Right

Elisabeth – That’s when the divorce coach becomes relevant and they do a fabulous job but there’s that time when leading up to if if you happen to be the one who’s thinking of it. There’s that like you said that inner turmoil of making that decision. It’s such a big decision and then if the decision has been made whether it’s by you or by your partner emotions are ridiculously high

Nicky – Yeah

Elisabeth – You are thinking about everything from I want to run away, to you know can I still save this, should we go to counseling should we just give up, like you’re everywhere on the map and you have no one to go to. It’s possible that you don’t feel you can tell people and sometimes I actually say to them, it’s like I’m a bartender because I’m someone who’s never going to sit at their kitchen table. So they don’t have to worry about that they tell me something and then next thing you know I’m sitting across from that person at dinner next night. So that’s not gonna happen I’m outside the world and so I think that really helps them feel safe to talk and unload and to ask those questions that might seem really ridiculous to someone who has never gone through it.

Nicky – So I joined the facebook group right, you invited me to the facebook I joined it and what I loved about it which was very different from other facebook groups, was that I loved that it was really positive and really supportive and I found that in a lot of the other facebook groups you know someone would comment about a problem and you know the comments down below were just so trashy and they would like put the person down or it was really judgmental and I found that even if somebody came up with the most ridiculous thing, right, ridiculous in my eyes it’s like you know people would be really really supportive.

Elisabeth – They rally around each other like crazy

Nicky – Yeah

Elisabeth – So I’m so glad you noticed that this is actually something I’m really proud of so. That was very important because I I for research used to jump into those groups before I started the Separation Club or in the very early days and just spend time in those groups. I really was just they’re observing I wanted to see what are their questions what are they wondering about. So that was sort of why I was in there but I would see exactly what you’re talking about this really negative um people kind of putting them down and whatever those things were happening more often than not. So I wanted to be a positive community so I one decisions I made early on was to be very present um and monitoring that and also being very quick. So of course it was easy in the beginning when there was like 45 people in the group but I was very quick to always comment and so I’d set the tone for the thread because they would see my comment on top knowing I was the the owner and the admin of the group and they’d see my my tone and they’d kind of follow along with that so that really worked and as the group grow grew this that kind of got adopted by everybody because everybody was following and now that the group is really big now there’s like 5 500 women in there, there’s there are people who will get into that negative attitude and what’s so wonderful is I’ll see one of my other group members jump in and go we don’t talk like that in this group. This comment is inappropriate in this group.

Nicky – So they police each other

Elisabeth – Yeah and they’ll tag me, Elisabeth, because they they just know that I’m going to take that comment down because we don’t talk like that in this group and they say it I don’t even have to say it I love it

Nicky – Yeah

Elisabeth – So it’s it’s become something that everybody loves about the group so they’re all invested in maintaining it so

Nicky – Something I love about you too is that you have this like no bs approach

Elisabeth – Yeah

Nicky – Right and that’s 

Elisabeth – I’m the tough love girl

Nicky – Yeah you’re a tough love girl you know and a lot of times you know when you’re going through a situation like this you’re paddling in your own pity pool, you’re like you know you’re playing the victim and uh you know I feel like I feel like you know you would you would really turn around if somebody were to work with you you’d be like, no stop that don’t do that you know.

Elisabeth – Very much so

Nicky – Yeah

Elisabeth – And I don’t judge and we all need to spend time there like I spent time in my little pity pool as well and we all need to spend a little bit of time there and we we deserve it like. When you go through something like this you need to sit there and just let everybody pour love on you for a little while like that just feels good so that’s okay. But then comes the day where that also has to stop because otherwise you’re a victim for your life right right and and if someone hires me as a coach or jumps into my membership and joins me in there in the coaching calls. Yeah now you’ve now you’ve said I want your help Elizabeth, well now we’re gonna stop so now that that’s me hearing you say I don’t want to be a victim I want to survive this and not just survive I want to thrive. I want to rock the world.

Nicky – Yeah but you have to be ready you have to be engaged you have to want better for yourself I think that’s that’s key really

Elisabeth – Yeah it’s huge and and some of these women honestly have been through terrible terrible ordeals. A lot of trauma abuse um but I wouldn’t say that they’re the ones who necessarily struggle more than others it’s a mindset thing. It’s really a decision am I going to um kind of like we talked about in a previous interview, am I going to wear this badge of suffering because I went through divorce or am I going to be the person who uses this to catapult me into something new. That’s how I approached my healing, it’s like I am going to learn everything I can. I am going to heal and grow and this is going to be the thing that changes my life in a good way.

Nicky – Yeah

Elisabeth – um and it was

Nicky – I just love how you set that energy right off the bat yeah

Elisabeth – yeah it’s that’s what I wanted to be and that’s what I want for them and they and they know that yeah so you know the people that don’t engage with me as much they’re not ready and the people who reach out to me because they want help then they know what they’re getting.

Nicky – Yeah because a lot of times when women are strong they’re considered bitchy, they’re considered rude

Elisabeth – yeah I hear this all the time

Nicky – Yeah

Elisabeth – I don’t like that either it’s you know what we need to and that’s our narrative by the way that is our narrative and we need to stop that and you know what if being strong and independent and happy and living a joyful life and following my purpose is bitchy, then bitchy rocks

Nicky – Yeah

Elisabeth – So go for it

Nicky – I also like the fact that you know how you moved on from your own process right and we talked about that in that other video but you found love again.

Elisabeth – I did

Nicky – And now you’re on the other side I am you’re on the other side so for you I think like your divorce was was really tumultuous it was for you for your kids and the fact that you kind of you’re sitting on the other side guiding these people on how to get there. I think that that’s really powerful because you’ve been through that

Elisabeth – Yeah

Nicky – And that’s really important

Elisabeth – They they know what they’re hearing from someone who gets it because I’ve actually done it and not just because I’ve taken courses or you know I’ve I’m standing in front of them teaching them my method.

Nicky – Yeah

Elisabeth – The way that I healed and got myself through it and that is what I’m sharing with the world and the women who want to hear it

Nicky – Yeah

Elisabeth – And for me it was like I said it was an incredible journey and yeah here I am I’m remarried and I have a blended family and I have to be my next course. How to be a staff mom right?

Nicky – Okay so you do these like two three minute little uh sort of videos every single morning.

Elisabeth – That’s just for my membership and my members get that

Nicky – Okay so for your membership you do these two three

Elisabeth – Morning thoughts it’s like one of your favorite things

Nicky – Okay so what how did you come up with that what was behind that what did you think about doing that and what’s you know tell people about it

Elisabeth – Okay so so the way you know when I first started the Separation Club I originally created a course my first course ran in January of 2020 yeah and it literally started February 2nd I believe and the last day was like the 14th or 15th of March which is when lockdown in the whole world happened right and so this these women who were in my course went like Elisabeth now what? We’re locked down the course is over we need you, so I kicked off a membership two weeks later which wasn’t supposed to start until this January

Nicky – Right

Elisabeth – So I just launched it and I was trying to come up with content ideas and this was one of the ideas I had like. They need to hear from me just a quick little message in the morning to kind of pick them up and get them started on their day so it became morning thoughts and I just I usually pick a theme um for the week. It could be overcoming betrayal or learning to trust again or um it could be anything like I just pick a theme for the week and I I did a happiness project that took me about 10 weeks which was awesome just all these different things you can do to bring a little bit of joy and happiness into your day

Nicky – Right

Elisabeth – Um and I just run it through Monday to Friday and they love it and that’s why I schedule them so they wake up to them at six o’clock in the morning. So that’s the first thing they do

Nicky – That’s really amazing because like you know finding trust again, you found love again, you found you know you found the ability to be able to trust somebody

Elisabeth – Yeah

Nicky – And a lot of times sometimes when people are in a situation where they’ve gone through a lot in previous relationships they come to new relationships really really jaded. Right so they bring that baggage from old relationships to new relationships so yeah they do they move on but at the same time they haven’t almost right how do you how did you really get over all of the things that happened to you and how do you lead people to kind of you know kind of do what you did? Which is really just leave the past in the past

Elisabeth – I’m so glad you asked you take responsibility

Nicky – Yeah

Elisabeth – So you look I I and I spent hours doing this and this is where my healing happened I literally just sat with myself and asked myself those questions like why did that happen in the relationship in my marriage why did this happen why did I respond like this why did he choose to do this and I literally sat and asked those questions and I dug deep like I went into like why. So the one of the things I’m known for in my membership and also with my coaching clients is I ask the tough questions that get to the answer, that they need to find, so that they can heal and get past it but when you take responsibility for your side of the story, when you’re in the marriage and something goes terribly wrong like an affair for example which is so common um even though the other person had the affair you had a role. Um no you didn’t choose the affair and you didn’t deserve that but you had a role in everything that happened leading up to it. We all have a part to play we have to take responsibility and what it looks like is, okay I see that maybe I my role was this, I was this or I made these choices. I can see that maybe my partner felt this way which could be why they chose that. I don’t like the choice they made they could have chosen to come and talk to me but I see my role. How would I do it differently and so when you start to see a role and you think okay I can do that differently in the future. I don’t have to do it like that again I don’t have to tolerate that again. I don’t have to ignore my boundaries again. I don’t have to put up with that again. So once you look at those things you can it’s incredibly empowering and freeing because now at least how I felt was now I can literally like stand up and go, okay lesson learned I’m walking away from that. I’m walking to something new and that it will never happen again. It was so freeing it was like shackles falling off me. Done.

Nicky – I think a lot of women a lot of times uh you know women that I’ve encountered they mix up taking responsibility and completely blaming themselves

Elisabeth – Yeah

Nicky – and there’s you know it happens a lot of times in fights too you know you’re fighting with your partner and they blame, something you know very narcissistic style, they blame whatever they did on you right. So in order to I guess move on from that you’re owning things that are really not your fault. So what do you think is the big difference. Where’s that line where’s that line that you find where it’s like you know I’m taking responsibility for it but at the same time I’m not completely blaming myself um for everything that kind of happened?

Elisabeth – Well if I use myself as an example just because that way I’m not stepping on anyone’s toes but um when he chose to have that second and I choose my words very carefully here he chose to have that affair. He chose to not come to me and and say I’m unhappy I’m I need help or I’m going to end up with someone else. Like you know I’m starting to look at other women or whatever like he chose not to do that so why did he choose to do that so you know depending on culture upbringing and I was married to a man. A lot of men have not been taught to share emotions. He didn’t feel that he could come to me and say that he probably would have felt that he was failing somehow that he was um you know doing something wrong and didn’t know. It is a fact that a lot of men cheat because it’s easier than it is to sit down and share their feelings. So what could I’ve done differently what do I own of that. Um I could have paid more attention to that he wasn’t happy. I could have noticed that he wasn’t happy. I also you know it isn’t my fault that he had an affair that was his choice he didn’t have to choose that um and I don’t have to carry any of it. I guess I don’t know if that that is answering your question properly but

Nicky – Yeah no I get it 

Elisabeth – I I can see I don’t have to agree with it but I can see why he did it right that doesn’t mean I’m agreeing or that it’s okay

Nicky – Yeah

Elisabeth – It just means okay I hear why you did that I don’t like it I don’t want to put up with it and I don’t want to be with you anymore because of it it’s not my fault but I understand that I had a part leading up to that choice.

Nicky – Yeah so you have a very spiritual approach right. You bring a lot of spirit to you know your practice what you do and all of that so so tell me about that.

Elisabeth – Well it’s really been evolving because originally I started with a course and like I said I’m a tough love girl so it was very sort of like we’re going to do this we’re going to work on our boundaries we’re going to work on our healing blah blah blah. Right so we went and and it’s a course that still works incredibly well but it has evolved and so um what I am including now which I didn’t originally which I grew the course into is to include things like talking about chakras for example. Which is an energy um 

Nicky – Tell me about that, what is that?

Elisabeth – Yeah chakras okay so for those of you who don’t know uh the it’s an ancient way of thinking of how energy flows in our body. So we have energy centers and I think everybody has seen that sort of silhouette of a woman who sits in like a yoga pose and she’s got these colored bulbs kind of um on her body and so those are the chakra centers

Nicky – Yeah

Elisabeth – Each chakra represents different things like you know your heart chakra represents your emotions and your and your love. Um your solar plexus represents your your ego your identity your you know your personal power your passion for example. So they all have a different purpose and so the the way that they work is energy needs to flow really nicely all the way through them up and all the way through them on the way down as well.

Nicky – Right

Elisabeth – If trauma happens pain injury anything like that that can block any of those energy centers, meaning that things don’t flow. So we can think of as energy flowing and getting stuck or being really dense was trouble getting through and so the work that we do is then we focus on that chakra and we actually work on do all kinds of different things to help release that energy and get it flowing again and so one of the questions first questions I’ll ask people is when you’re, let’s say you get that text from your ex and it just hits you like it just makes you cry or feel angry or something. If you have the presence of mind as you’re listening to this to pay attention to where in your body you feel that moment where does it hit you because that’s probably where you’re blocked. So if it hits you here your solar plexus is probably a little bit blocked the hits you here it has something to do with resentment and how you share love and how you are in relationships you know if it hits you right here it might be because your throat chakra is blocked which means you don’t feel heard or you don’t feel like you get to say speak your truth or your voice you know. So this it gives us these clues which is really amazing and then we can dig into that and it’s a different approach a lot of people have had a lot of talk therapy and I’m all for it but they might have done so much of it that they kind of want to do something let’s try something new. This is I’ve gotten as far as I’m going to get with that this is a very different approach they love it. It absolutely works.

Nicky – I know that a lot of people you know they they’ve gone to like because usually you know when we when I meet a client we do something called the discovery meeting and we go through all their expenses and sometimes you have that that mental health expense, right and you know you ask them about it and you know like what is this say like two thousand dollars a month or whatever the case is and it’s they’ve been seeing a therapist for say five or six or seven or god knows how many years and you know at that point it makes me kind of wonder like what are you not learning from this person, what is this person really not teaching you? Right like where where is this going wrong because you’re you’re doing this for so long but you know at the same time you feel like you have to keep running back. So you know what’s going on here, right so that’s that’s often like the things that I think about. Where where’s that line where you say okay you need therapy you don’t need me.

Elisabeth – Don’t need me?

Nicky – Yeah

Elisabeth – Um if there’s if they have real trauma in their history. Like so uh abuse um severe abuse uh perhaps childhood abuse, that’s way out of my expertise so to speak it’s not my place to handle that. I will address it if I’m doing chakra balancing with them but I would 100 of the time also want them to be seeing a therapist for that specifically.

Nicky – Yeah

Elisabeth – So and in fact I worked with someone who did that she had her therapist and what was great was that when he her therapist happened to also believe in actually a lot of the methods that I was using. So I was enjoying that she was getting the therapy she needed from him as much as he was liking what I was doing because they complement each other incredibly well they’re not exclusive of each other. So you know you go to therapy and you talk through some of the trauma you’ve been through or you know the healing that you need to do um but you can still come to me and that’s okay now that you know where it’s sitting, even if they don’t know where in their body physically they feel it but if you know the nature of your trauma that also sits in certain centers, certain chakras and then again I can help you open and clear and and basically that healing can happen faster.

Nicky – Right okay so you have this um it’s not just the facebook group, it’s also the website right so tell me about the website.

Elisabeth – Yeah so the facebook group is where everybody comes into my world pretty much they find me on facebook that’s where people go looking for support um but the Separation Club yes is a club

Nicky – Yeah

Elisabeth – And the club has um it’s the club you never wanted to be part of what if you’re going through this it’s the best club to be in

Nicky – Yes

Elisabeth – Sorry I had to say that yeah so um the Separation Club has courses the membership and I do coaching and the coaching includes the chakra balancing for example that we just talked about um and things like that. The courses is really the way the transformation happens yeah um and so I run a course called Freedom to Rise, which runs about three times a year it’s a 12-week course and uh yeah it changes lives it’s really um an incredible course. It’s evolved into something so beautiful and it evolved from you know what I first created evolved because of the needs of the women who’ve gone through it. Like I’ve they’ve they’ve literally through their questions and their needs it’s like okay I have to add this to my course

Nicky – Right

Elisabeth – So it’s really come along and then the membership is just an incredible support so it we meet weekly on zoom and uh so it’s group support and group coaching I do coaching

Nicky – That’s amazing yeah

Elisabeth – Yeah they get a ton of value in there and that’s where the morning thoughts are.

Nicky – Well I think that’s fantastic because there’s a lot of times where you don’t have people in your world that you can really talk to or connect with. So being able to go on an online space where you now are meeting people because the thing is with with your stuff, unlike mine, with your stuff you’re you’re supporting people um like all around the world. Right my license only goes so far but yeah with you you’re supporting people all over the world you could have somebody in Europe

Elisabeth – And I do

Nicky – Uh you know you do meet somebody in North America and become best buddies

Elisabeth – So can I share a really special story with you yesterday um goosebumps just thinking about it so my very first people that went through my very first course. There was five of them uh three of them live in Ontario in the greater Toronto area and two of them one of them lives in England and one of them lives in Slovakia so they were not with us but then two other women from the next course also, they they were like my core they were my first members yeah they all got to know each other well yesterday we all got together in person for the first time

Nicky – Wow

Elisabeth – Yeah for the first time and to be able to hug them and see them and the mem the friendship that they have cultivated between them, like they are lifelong friends and that has come out of them connecting through the Separation Club and in these calls and in the courses and and together like they’ve also connected with each other outside of all of those but to see the friendships and get together like that. So there was one of them that couldn’t be there because she lives in england so we were all like it’s just wrong that she’s not here right and so we all called her on facebook, like we did a video called oh she was crying and we were all just because because she cried we were all joking about how every call in the membership used to be just everybody’s sobbing but now of course it’s been the year for them so they’re not the ones crying anymore now they’re the ones supporting the new members who are crying and I just love it

Nicky – It’s beautiful

Elisabeth – Yeah it’s more than I could ever have asked for

Nicky – Yeah that’s amazing so if someone joins a membership, it’s a yearly membership.

Elisabeth – No it’s it’s a monthly membership um you know they have a yearly option but I they all prefer monthly as you well know finances is a huge worry so they worry about committing to something um and I get it like I for me even when I went through this committing to anything beyond the next two hours was difficult. like I had a huge commitment problem somebody said to me hey do you want to come and visit me in three weeks I’m like paralyze me. I I I don’t know like I just couldn’t even make a decision. So no I make it a very easy monthly thing they join when they want and they leave when they want.

Nicky – That’s amazing

Elisabeth – But yeah it’s very much about just yeah getting together and support

Nicky – Okay so tell me about the course you’re doing because it’s coming up

Elisabeth – Yes

Nicky – Right

Elisabeth – So it runs three times a year it runs basically at the beginning of the year I’m not going to give dates because this change every year right

Nicky – Yeah

Elisabeth – They’re on beginning of the year it runs in the spring, I’m running one right now as we’re recording this but I know this is running later and then the next course is in September.

Nicky – Right

Elisabeth – so it’s coming up and um I don’t have the exact date at this time but it’ll be in September and it is a 12-week transformational course. I basically take you from where you are now to where you want to be and the thing I like to point out as well because by the time women take this course sometimes they just they don’t want to spend 12 weeks talking about their divorce and so I want to also say it’s not about the divorce. It’s about healing from it. It certainly comes up in conversation but it’s a lot this is a deep dive into you and who you are and finding your voice, finding who you want to be, how you want to show up in this world and making it happen and I don’t want this to be one of those courses that we’ve all taken, where we feel super inspired and excited and then we do nothing. Nothing changes right we take these webinars courses read these books but um so what I did as well is that three times like every month every basically every fourth week through this course I do a one-on-one with them. So that we make sure they’re implementing and they really are moving forward on these things so

Nicky – I think that’s amazing because a lot of times when women get married they don’t really know who they are

Elisabeth – No I didn’t

Nicky – Yeah they don’t know who they are they don’t know what they’re sort of bringing to the table they don’t really understand they don’t really understand sometimes they don’t even understand their partners right and a lot of times as things grow and evolve you get busy you have kids you buy homes you move and you know you you get more and more lost and you tend to go with this flow but you know you don’t really find yourself and then you become unhappy and then you know time has passed and you kind of look back and you wonder where all the time is gone and where you were during that time and now you have to you have this opportunity after your divorce to really rediscover who you are

Elisabeth – Yeah

Nicky – Right uh in a way that’s now you because you know all this time has passed all this baggage is now behind you right and it’s time for you

Elisabeth – Absolutely it’s you know you you have two choices when you get divorced you can live in this world of poor me I’m divorced and this awful thing happened to me and now look at my life because of it or okay that happened, not nice doesn’t feel nice at all but I’m I’m like launching myself from this. Like I am going to fly and that was my approach, I’m like I’m this is not going to beat me this is not going to be the thing that drags me down forever. I’m not going to be this jaded bitter angry person. I want to be happy yeah and I’m happy because I chose to be happy that’s all you have to do is just choose it. I had a client actually at the very beginning of the course I asked I asked all of them um what do you want out of life. What’s your why? What’s your passion? You know what, what is your goal for these 12 weeks? Where do you want to be?

Nicky – What’s your driver yeah yeah

Elisabeth – Anything like let’s find that thing and she said to me she said to all of us in the first call and she goes well she goes I want to be happy. She said I was at a store today and she saw a sign that said choose happy, I choose happy it said oh and she goes I picked it up I put it in my cart and then I put it back because and she was crying at this point she goes because I know I’m not happy. I’m like go back to the store and buy it. Just because you don’t feel happy today you’re choosing happy. So it’s it’s about making a decision to to be happy or to be um follow a purpose or to explore something new about yourself or just to get to know yourself

Nicky – Reah

Elisabeth – Really who you are yeah standing in your power and all these things that we say but it’s actually a thing it feels really good when you do it.

Nicky – So tell me about Glenn tell me about how you met him

Elisabeth – Have you been waiting to do this like the whole time?

Nicky – Yes because I think that I I always believe that um a lot of times your first marriage is in your first love and um I believe that people deserve to lay on their deathbed and say that they’ve had at least one great love in their life.

Elisabeth – Yeah I think so too and I don’t believe that there’s only one person for us

Nicky – Yeah

Elisabeth – I believe there’s definitely more options out there um well Glenn’s amazing and yes we we met online like the you know the the classic way, I guess when you get divorced and have a bunch of kids you don’t exactly go to bars anymore. So

Nicky – Yeah how do you find people you know when

Elisabeth – Yeah no I we met online and um and we hit it off right away. I think the thing to me that’s almost most important to share with you going into that was my attitude towards it and you know people ask me all the time when are you ready to date? And you’re ready to date even just when you’re asking that question usually but you’re truly ready to date when you’re comfortable with yourself because then you won’t settle. So I had already gotten to a place where I was super comfortable and happy with myself like I had done a lot of work. So I knew I was not going to settle so I had like promised myself I’m going to be 100 myself, he either loves who I am or he doesn’t and if he doesn’t he doesn’t yeah I’m not tolerating that again because I always used to say about my ex I really believe he loved me but I don’t think he liked me and we just weren’t suited and and that showed and that’s not his fault. It just was a poor decision the two of us made right right so that wasn’t going to happen to me again so I went into it with a very different approach and I remember our very first date he kind of asked me he was like you know what are you looking for and I said I just want to have fun. So I said as long as the two of us are having just as much fun I’m good with it. As soon as one of us stops having a good time we’re done he’s like okay I can live with that that’s how we started

Nicky – Yeah

Elisabeth – But um he’s an amazing guy he’s very different from my first from my ex too so I I did find somewhat different. I I settled my pattern yeah and uh I don’t know he’s supportive we have a very independent marriage. We do whatever we do our own thing we trust each other implicitly but we also love to do things together which I think is really important we have seven kids between us so we are good at communicating. Well I’m really good at communicating and he’s gotten so good at it too. Like he’s really been open to learning to do that with me so

Nicky – That’s amazing how how was it when you know your kids got to know him. You know what was what was that really like you know

Elisabeth – We did it you know we did it right in that we did it slow. We didn’t throw this at them early um I spent a lot of time with him for probably about four to five months before my kids met him as my boyfriend my two youngest ones had met him before that but only ever in like um the capacity that we were taking our kids with other families like bowling, there’d be like three families or a bunch of us would go to um Niagara Falls and go to the water park or you know so we were always a group. There was no concept of that him and I were together

Nicky – Right

Elisabeth – Um so once that was introduced that was probably four or five months in so they, we just really took our time and I made sure that that didn’t happen in front of them until I knew that he was going to be around for a while. Yeah

Nicky – I think that’s really important too because you know once your kids kind of see you with somebody, you know they keep seeing you with different people

Elisabeth – People get people get impatient they’re so happy to find something good again something that feels good after going through divorce and I get that but you know what you can’t bring your kids into it. Not right away not until you know this is going to be this is going to be good.

Nicky – Especially if they’re little I think you know

Elisabeth – Yeah I think for anyone I I think honestly for my I I have four sons my oldest was 17. 

Nicky – Yeah

Elisabeth – Um he was actually almost 18 by the time he met Glenn and they’re paying attention. Like they’re not you know he was he had all kinds of rules, like he wasn’t allowed to stay over in my room, he was you know like suddenly I’m getting those rules. Right it’s like can’t sleep in your room mom okay like the first time he stayed overnight I had to ask him like are you okay with him staying yeah and that was a weekend where my youngest were with their dad but he wasn’t and so I just said like Glenn’s coming over and he’s probably going to stay overnight because he’s fine it’s not just to stay in your room.

Nicky – So how do people find you and find out about the services you offer

Elisabeth – Um they would head over to the separationclub.com yeah and uh click on the club the clothes join the club link there’s like a little button. So click on the button and head to the club page and there you’ll see everything that that is offered. So there’s the membership the Rising Free membership, the Freedom to Rise course and uh and some other things some coaching, tarot reading, chakra balancing, all that kind of stuff yeah um but yeah definitely check out the course because it’s coming up. It’s the thing that’s going to change your life so um that’s what I would suggest

Nicky – Well thank you so much for watching this episode of Coin for Thought. Uh Elizabeth thank you so much for joining me if you want

Elisabeth – This has been fun

Nicky – Yeah if you want to work with Elizabeth definitely check out the links below. Uh head on over to our playlist so you can catch the other episode with Elizabeth. That was a really really great episode, if you want to learn about Elisabeth’s story with her divorce. Don’t forget to like, subscribe, and hit that notification bell for more videos to come. Thank you so much everyone!

Elisabeth – Thank you Nicky

Nicky – Alright bye!